daniblissblog

Week 12

I have not dropped out of class.  I promise.  I have been incredibly sick.  Anywho.  I have not even started my research paper.  Part of it has been  because I’ve been bed-ridden.  Another part is because I’m lazy and procrastinative.  Is procrastinative a word?  I’m really nervous now about plagiarism.  I am going to be very careful I don’t, the wrath of Mrs. Smith has instilled a fear deep within my soul.  Another thing I’ve been researching, besides the research for my topic which I should probably devote a little more time to, is the MLA format for bibliography.  I just know I’m gonna bungle that.  And ya know…
Chad said something that I agree with.  He was talking about the scores he’s been getting on his papers and seemed to think he had nowhere to go but down, as if he couldn’t get any better.  Not in a cocky way…anyway.  But I agree.  My last paper, not so good.  This one….seems like it’s been the hardest so far (okay I have started writing it a little).  I don’t anticipate a great score.  I’m sure I sound very dumb in this journal…dumber than usually I mean.  Or is it more dumb?  I am just very doped up on Nyquil and some sort of red pills I don’t remember what they are.  And now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go stick my head in the toilet again.

I think I like research papers.  They’re so nice, and long, and researchy.  I’m especially fond of the one we’re all working on now because we get to choose what we research.  One of my favorite books is The Mists of Avalon.  The author has written a collection of books all dealing with ‘Avalon’, the Godess, druidism, paganism, and ancient Atlantis.  They’re all very interesting but The Mists of Avalon, her longest and, in my opinion, best work is about her own telling of the King Arthur legend.  It really is an amazing read and has so much more to offer than just the well known stories of King Arthur and the round table.   It starts so much earlier and goes into it from different angles and mostly from the prospective of the women behind King Arthur’s rule.  I know I sound like I’m advertising this book but I really love it.  I’m especially fond of the history brought into the story of druidism and paganism and the brink of Christianity.   Where I’m getting with this is that I just finished this book for the 5^th time and I decided that for my research paper I wanted to look into paganism vs Christianity.  Okay so great I have a basic topic for what my paper is to be on but I am having a hard time focusing in on a direct question.  The evolvement from paganism to Christianity?  Maybe just a history of Christianity?  Or a history of paganism.  How the different early religions and beliefs shaped or molded or had an effect on Christianity?  You see I’m struggling.  So I thought if I just got some broad research to start out on, I would get reading and something would hit me.  And something did.  Why on earth did I pick such a topic!  It could have been anything and I chose something hard!  (Well, hard for me and my little brain).  So I’m reading all this research and it’s giving me all these wordy facts that I’m supposedly suppose to just be all up and current on…and then I realized…do I even have a firm knowledge of what paganism is?  I mean, the only stuff I’ve ever really read about it is the stuff from my book (which is so great, by the way, there’s such great detail of their rituals and their lifestyle and oh! It’s so wonderful).  I mean…I’ve got to do a lot of reading up on some of the basic stuff I want to include in my research paper…but then, I guess that’s why it’s called a RESEARCH paper.  And by the way I’ve had the flu that’s why I missed all this week…since I’m sure you were extremely concerned.

I got one to work!  I am so happy I am crying!  I would like to point out though, that when I was talking about my journals being “too advanced for mere mortals…” or something like that, that I used ‘to advanced’ instead of ‘too advanced’…I’m a smart one.  I thought it was funny.

Journal 8

I think at least, this is suppose to be journal 8. Because I remember doing 5, 6, and 7 but fancy that time and again upon completion my beloved journals would vanish into the dark abyss of cyberspace. And I admit laziness for not rewriting them and trying again. However this time, I have taken Chad’s advice, and am at this very moment typing out my journal on Wordperfect. That way when (not if, I have given up entirely on ‘if’) my journal disappears from my blog spot mathinger, I will not have to pull out my hair but instead need only try again. I suspect that the reason my journals keep disappearing is not due to my lack of computer knowledge but is entirely due to the computer having a mind of its own, and upon reading my journals, it deems them to advanced and amazing for mere mortals to view. It is trying to protect the dear souls of my professor and fellow students from reading something their simple minds couldn’t possibly fathom. So I have toned it down a bit, so that perhaps the computer will let my journal be published…

(I was just kidding about that mere mortals/simple minds bit)

I read a newspaper article entitled New Group: UEA Not Enough from the Salt Lake Tribune. The writer’s tone is decidedly persuasive, there is no openness to more than the view he presents in his article. He relates with some quiet hostility (ha ha, quiet hostility…you know I use these words without regards to how they sound or if they’re even appropriate) that the Utah Legislature simply refuses to funnel surplus dollars into schools, also explaining that the number of retiring educators is rising. He is very warm towards the Utah Educators Association, who he says “remains committed to fighting for Utah Schools.” ( or something like that).

However, he then goes on to explain that despite the UEA’s many efforts to improve public education, it is not enough. He then becomes more persuasive with how a new group and a “fresh face” would better serve as a representative voice for the teachers. I believe the desired response was to get people (parents targetively (yes, I know ‘targetively’ is not a word, but it made me giggle to write it) ) hot and bothered over the insufficiency of the UEA’s efforts and the necessity for a new rising group. He asks us to question what’s best for the kids, and how we will deal with the rising population in the future. The writer gives us, clearly, the only definite solution which is that the UEA is simply not cutting it, and that this new group is necessary. (Yes I know I should include what this new group is, but I can’t find the article, and I can’t remember). As for the affect this article had on myself, well, I am a young, ignorant girl and haven’t noticed any great problems in the education system, so mostly I felt bored and indifferent….ponderous of what action will be taken maybe a little….but mostly bored and indifferent.

great.  so i got the title of “journal 8″ up there.  though i was semi-hoping my actual journal would accompany it.  i’ll try again…thanks to chad i typed it on wordperfect first.  my this is dumb.

Sheesh!  This one’s a thinker.  Can’t we just write about our favorite color? Just kidding Mrs. Smith.  Your journal assignments are so very well thought out and I simply love them…my favorite color is green, by the way.

So we’re suppose to write about our major.  Well…I don’t know that I’m decided on that just yet.  I’m 18 and fresh out of high school, and I have never been sure where I wanted to go in life (career-wise).  However I’m pretty sure I want to major in English.  I’ve always loved English and reading.  When I would get in trouble as a kid, my dad would just take a big box down to my room and pile in all my books.  Rude huh!   There I am minding my own business, trying to grow intellectually and what happens?  I get grounded from my books.  Lame.

I’m not sure where I would go with English…don’t get me wrong I know there’s lots of places I COULD go, I’m just not sure where I WANT to go.  I’ve always kinda settled on maybe teaching English in a jr. high or high school setting.  But that seems so boring right now.  I feel like there’s something HUGE I could be doing, but I don’t know what it is and heaven knows I’m probably not talented or smart enough to do it.  One fantasy I have always treasured is that of being an author.  Just being able to live at home in my cute little house with my handsome litle husband and my darling little children and just write, while my readers nation-wide wait with held breaths for my next literary work of art.  I’m more likely to get struck by lightning in a pile of tires 47 times than to achieve this fantasy I realize, but that’s why it’s a fantasy.  So if you have the notion in your head to tell me “Dream on sweetheart,”  you can save your breath, I’ll tell myself, thank you.

One thing I would like to do is get a book published my late mother wrote.  See, she wrote this book but it didn’t get published.  I have the manuscript and I’ve read it many times.  I’ve read a lot of books and I know what I like, and to me and my limited knowledge, I say that her story plot has a lot of potential, and her imagination is wonderful.  However, if it had more background, more explanation, more forethought, instead of sounding like she was just thinking it up as she went along and so some things don’t really connect, I think it could become even better.  So hopefully one day, once I expand my horizons and become a lot real good smarter at all da book stuff and stuffs about english and gets smartest, then maybe I could become co-authors with my mother and succeed in getting her book published.

So far I have done nothing to adhere (what does adhere mean?  sometimes I just use words because  they sound like maybe they would work into what I’m trying to say, but then lots of times I’m wrong and I sound like an idiot, but I’m gonna leave ‘adhere’ in for my own happy sake this time) to the assignment.  Let me try to do so now.  What type of questions do scholars in my field typically ask?  Sheesh, heck if I know.  As far as writing goes, though, probably questions such as, What styles of writing appeals most to readers?  How can I portray my thoughts into writing in such a way that will make it interesting to read?  What foundations are the classic works of great authors based upon?  Stuff like that maybe?  What questions do I hope to tackle?  Hmmmm….well surely I won’t be able to make any ground breaking discoveries related to English….but I guess maybe I have those same questions…and if I could ever possibly find any semblence (again there’s a word, semblence?) of an answer to any of them, I would consider my life succesful indeed.  Ha ha I’m such an idiot. But I amuse myself and that’s what’s important.

What keeps me awake at night…Hmmm…there are lots of things.  Probably the most prominent thought is the fact that the supposed love of my life, my boyfriend of 10 months who told me everyday that he loved me and wanted me to wait for him when he left for his mission and that he wanted to marry me recently dumped me for another girl. Yep…just completely dropped me on my toocas.  However not to worry, ’cause I’m not sad or bitter by ANY MEANS!  And am slowly getting over it.  Ahhh.

Anyways, now for my assignment…

In my bedroom in the basement I like to leave my window open, ’cause from my bed I can look out and see the stars and the moons and I just like it.  I’ve always been fascinated with outer space and all that jazz…unfortunately I’m not nerdy enough to be able to say that I pursue this subject and know all about it…I just like to look and think a lot.  So I do…a lot.

When I used to try to imagine the immense universe, I would think of it from this perspective:  I start out with an image of the Earth in my head, then I go up from there and think wow…it just goes on forever.  And then I would look left and right from the Earth in my head and think wow…it just goes on forever.  And if that wasn’t enormous enough, because of my limited way of thinking, I had not until recently looked DOWN from the Earth in my head and also thought wow….it just goes on forever.  It’s just so freaking big! 

I mean, what is this about Pluto no longer counting as a planet?  Because we’ve found something bigger?  How many OTHER bigger things are floating around in our solar system that we don’t know about?  All the canyons or what not on Mars…haven’t recent discoveries left way for a theory that there may have once been water there?  Well?  What the heck?  Was it once possible for there to be life on Mars?  Will there ever be again?  I am LDS…so I believe in God.  So based on this belief…I have thoughts like…When did he create the universe?  Did he create the whole thing?  If we are all to be Gods like unto Him one day…does that mean that He was once as we are?  So are there a bunch of different Gods spread out throughout the universe with THEIR own worlds?  Or is our God the God of them all?  “Worlds without number have I created.”  Or something like that…yes, we know there are other planets…but other life?  I believe so.  Not like aliens, but, I mean come on.  There are other solar systems, with other suns, and other third planets from those suns.  There has to be other planets in far off solar systems that can sustain life.  And if there is…do there scriptures talk about the Savior being born on some planet far away, as ours say that the Savior would be born in a land far away (however still on the same planet).  Or do they have their OWN savior? 

It’s almost enough to make me want to kill myself so that I can head on up and say…What the heck?  How does this work?  What happened here?  Don’t worry I’m not suicidal, I realize that wouldn’t work.  But honestly.  And (sorry this is taking a religious turn, but I am a convert and this stuff just puzzles me), if the Native Americans are thought to be descendants of the Lamanites…what about the Aborigines (spelling?)?  Where did THEY come from way back when?   Is there other ’scripture’ yet to be found?

Oh…I could go on.  I’m all flustered now, my minds all a flutter…aflutter?  What was the other part of the assignment?  Why should other people care about what I think at night?  Well, for one, it would be a kind gesture for anyone to take an interest in something associated with me, and for two, I know I’m not that smart but come on, SOME of these things you’ve had to have wondered about yourself sometime or another…therefore, you should care.  Thank you I have finished.

I am trying this again…this better work or I will be responsible for the deaths of many.

I am a hostess at Chili’s.  I like it a lot; the people are great, I love the atmosphere, just everything is great.  As the bussers and the hostesses are generally in the front of the store, and have to communicate often via headset, they generally view each other in one or the other of these lights.  One, they can be best friends that date each other and hang out on the weekends. Or, they can loathe each other entirely and do everything they can to make the other’s job harder.  Luckily for me, I possess an easy-going disposition and tend to get along with everyone.  Thereby my relationship with the bussers is one of “Hey let’s go see a movie after work!”  And, “My so and so, you’re looking well today.”  Or, “Oh so and so, you are so handsome, let’s go out on a romantic date and hold hands and stuff!”  Anyway, it was during a long, slow day at work that I got into my first argument with one of my dear busser friends.

Ahem…we were having a supposed mellow conversation and I was proudly telling him about my younger sister who was that very day singing a series of songs she and my dad had written for the Attorney General of Utah at a Bush ralley and would later get to meet the President and gee Justin (the busser), isn’t that swell?  He then proceeded to display an ugly array of ‘disgusted’ faces and exclaimed confidently, “President Bush?  I hate President Bush!  What a moron (words have been changed to protect the innocent)!  I’m glad I’m not meeting the President!  ‘Cause if I did I would probably just run up and kick him in the shins!”  Wow, Justin…your open display of dislike towards our President formed of political ignorance and undeveloped opinions is so impressive…not. We went back and forth for a while.  “What?” I said.  “Why don’t you like our President?  What has he done that you don’t approve of?  What national or worldwide event has taken place in which you find his actions or opinions less than admirable?  You’re welcome to like or dislike, Justin dear, I’m just wondering how you plan to back it up?”  “Uh…” he began. Silence.  Good start.  “The whole…war…thing. …It’s…stupid.”  Ah yes Justin, forgive me, the man who runs our country has absolutely NOTHING to your superior intellect.

It went on like that for a while, and he went down the loser.  Why?  I’m not claiming to be up on all the current events, and I admit full-heartedly to being rather ignorant when it comes to politics and the hows and whys of the government.  But I did have an opinion, and I could back it up a lot better than he could.  Which led me to wondering…Why was he so bent on believing his opinion to be right?  Why was I?  Why could neither of us give in or be open to the other?  Was his opinion due to what he thought was ‘cooler’ or more impressive?  Was it simply the opinion of all his other punk friends?  Do people in general stick to their guns because in their minds they ARE right?  Because no other possibility has ever occured to them, therefore nothing else can be fathomed?  Or do they perhaps realize the possible error of their thinking and merely get defensive, throw up their arms and walk away because they are flustered?  Would the people of the world be a little more intelligent if we wouldn’t be so loyal and prideful towards what we THINK we know? 

For example…a man is born only able to see to the left and to the right.  He has never developed any awareness for up or down.  He can spin around in a circle and see everything and take it all in.  But his head and eyes can not raise or lower.  One day, as our man is walking down the lane, a boy jumps out from a branch of a nearby tree.  Startled, our poor man exclaims, “Hey!  Where did you come from?!”  Confused, the boy replies, “Why, just up there, in that tree…didn’t you see me?”  “What are you talking about!”  Our poor man becomes flustered.  “What is this ‘up there’ of which you speak?”  The boy tries to explain, but our man eventually walks away, arms thrown in the air and thinks defensively, “That boy is a mental case, I sure hope he can find some help, but honestly, what a waste of time.”  So what would have happened had the man stopped, and condescended to listen to the boy that might have had something to teach him if he were only willing to listen and be open to and idea that might not at first suit his fancy?

Anyway, I feel like I’ve been rambling.  No, I KNOW I’ve been rambling.  But it has been my experience with journals, to write whatever the heck came to my mind.  Hopefully, though, I have stayed close enough to the assignment, and my dear Mrs. Smith will deem it acceptable.  Also I vow that when I push PUBLISH and it doesn’t work…heads will fly.

Hello?  This is so stupid.  I hate computers.  I just wrote the hugest, bestest journal assignment and now I can’t find out what happened to it.  It has vanished from the face of the earth.  I have no idea what I’m doing.  Thank you for your time.